Mindful communication can create more intimacy in our relationships and deepen our levels of self-connection, but communicating wisely in every situation can be a challenge. One tool that can really help is to clarify your intention – the reason(s) you want to communicate mindfully. Setting a clear intention makes it much easier to stay focused on your goal, and to respond in alignment with your priorities instead of reacting in old, habitual ways.
Communication Hiccups Are Normal
From a psychological perspective, it makes complete sense that arguments come up and that misunderstandings occasionally happen in relationships. After all, mindful communication is like an intricate dance that relies on each of the participants being able to execute the steps smoothly, and pivot when necessary. If one person is new to the dance, or not paying attention, the performance will suffer.
Mindful communicators are practiced at not just speaking their own perspectives, but also listening to the words (and reading the non-verbal cues) of their conversation partners. It takes work to hold this type of mindful space for others, and what can trip us up unexpectedly is not having a clearly articulated goal for your efforts – a reason to keep trying that is both intrinsically rewarding and self-sustaining.
A Clear Intention Goes A Long Way
As with so many other aspects of life, you cannot truly master mindful communication without understanding why you are doing it. If your “why” is weak, you are likely doing it for the wrong reasons – such as reasons other people have given you – and your efforts will eventually peter out. Establishing your own, personally significant reason for making the effort will support you to take the right action during challenging moments.
Clarifying your underlying belief system enables you to create communication changes that are not only mindful, but sustainable and intrinsically rewarding. For example, if you believe that mindful communication is what you need for greater intimacy and connection in your romantic relationship, then you are more likely to make a sustained effort to practice it instead of slipping into old patterns of communication. This simple clarification will add weight, substance and meaning to your intention.
Why Do You Want To Be A Mindful Communicator?
Identifying and attending to the reasons you want to be mindful in your exchanges allows you to learn faster, and experience a more joyful satisfaction as you get better and better at communicating in alignment with your beliefs. With a clear intention, practicing mindful communication fosters a powerful sense of self-connection.
Here are a few common intentions that may be yours, as well.
- You are committed to meditation, but now you want to put your new learnings on mindfulness into practice in everyday life with other people.
- You really value your relationships and want to cherish the people you care so much about.
- You want to create space for more intimacy in your relationships, and feel more deeply connected to others.
- You want to be a better leader or manager in your workplace.
- You want to live life as your authentic self, instead of saying what people expect you to say, or doing things to make others happy.
Consider Communication Through The Lens Of Connection
There are many reasons to want to use mindful communication in your interpersonal exchanges. Looking at communication through the lens of connection often allows us to find the intrinsic motivation to make huge breakthroughs. Through a series of small, seemingly insignificant acts every day we can send powerful messages to ourselves and our conversation partners that each of us is worth the time and attention required to communicate mindfully.
Mindful communication becomes a much clearer priority when you consider it as the connecting act it is – a way to get closer to your true needs, more involved, more intimate, and ultimately more connected to yourself and the world.
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